Parents in high-achieving communities like Haarlem, Heemstede and Bloemendaal often carry a silent fear: What if I’m not good enough? What if people see my child’s struggles and think I failed?
One mother – highly educated, successful – came to me in distress. Her son’s angry outbursts at school and home left her feeling ashamed. But under the shame was something deeper: an old belief, inherited through generations, that asking for help means you’re weak.
In our work together using systemic therapy and somatic therapy, she realized she wasn’t failing. She was human. She let go of perfectionism and found her strength in vulnerability. Through trauma release and systemic reflection, she learned to hold boundaries without guilt, and to support her son from a place of inner calm.
Healing begins when we challenge the stories we’ve inherited and choose new ones that fit who we truly want to be.
